Paternal
by ThinkingCAPSLOCK
Summary: It took a while for John to realize there were some movies he could never see the same way again.
1. To Die For

The beeping of the microwave alerted John about the popcorn's completion. He grinned, placing the DVD on the tray and closing the holder. The machine churred as the sound of falling popcorn drifted from the kitchen.

It was John's monthly Disney movie night, and since his Dad would be joining it only seemed appropriate to let the man pick the film. John had been looking forward to Leroy and Stitch, but The Lion King was an awesome movie as well.

John plunked onto the couch, shifting pillows around him and pulling the table closer. Previews flashed before his eyes until he grabbed the remote, hitting the menu button the moment his Dad walked in.

He hadn't changed that much in the year since the game ended, but John was constantly seeing him in a new light. Dad had a job, liked hideous pranksters, and probably smoked a bit too much. He was overall a lot better than John had taken him for. The boy was grateful to have him back.

The two settled down after the lights flicked off. Munching noises played over the opening song, but soon both Egberts became drawn into the film.

The popcorn bowl was half empty by the time Simba arrived in the elephant graveyard. John's hand froze on the way to his mouth during Scar's song. He had forgotten a lot more of the movie than he had thought.

That was even more evident when Mufasa jumped into the stampede.

_A white shirt covered in blood, leaking and staining the floor as well as skin and cloth_.

He forced his eyes on the movie screen, forced his body to function. It was just a film. There was no reason for John to be thinking of this.

_A giant tear ran down it, revealing a gash far too deep and too colourful. Whites and pinks, bones and organs peeking out_.

It was a movie about lions. Mufasa died. John knew that. He remembered that. He'd seen this movie a million times before. Mufasa died. Simba's dad died.

Dad died.

_The face was recognizable, though the expression was unfamiliar. A mixture of fear and surprise, twisted in the completely wrong direction_.

John wiped his hands on his pants, unaware that he had been sweating. Blink, he willed. Breathe. Simba was trying to move his dad and it wasn't working. Because Dad was dead and why couldn't Simba see that?

_It had felt like so long since he saw his father, and a mess of red and white and black and dead wasn't what he wanted. Why hadn't his father gotten up yet, why wasn't this another one of his jokes? Why was the world frozen at this moment?_

It took a moment for him to realize the movie had stopped, because the images swam in front of his vision. Tears trailed down his face, and it wasn't just because of Mufasa.

He had killed his own Dad.

There was a strong arm around his shoulder, and John couldn't choke back the sob that escaped his lips. He buried his face into his Dad's shirt, and it smelt like tobacco and pastry. But Dad was breathing, at least the game had given him back.

"John."

His father's voice was loud and strong. "I didn't die because of you."

It wasn't quite the words John had expected, but he nodded. There was something in him that couldn't believe his father's words. He sat back, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes.

His Dad pulled him back for a hug, before offering his son a tissue. John took it, smiling sadly as he noticed the Betty Crocker logo on it. Typical.

When he put his glasses back on, he grabbed the popcorn bowl as well. He leaned against Dad's arm and the movie resumed. However, as the songs and scenes passed John knew he couldn't get back into it.

The images of his dead father danced in his mind, as the feeling of guilt rooted itself in the middle of his thoughts.

He wondered if Simba blamed himself for what happened. Even if Scar had killed his father. Did he see his father fall over and over, watch himself try and move his father's corpse in his nightmares? Did he hold one thought in his mind, repeated over and over, that made him sick to the core?

Had he been the one to kill Dad after all?


	2. The Jack Frost Band

It would never cease to be amusing to Dave how John's face would light up when he pulled out a movie for them to watch. Ironically, of course. It wasn't really Dave's thing, but John always let him play his beats or talk about music when he visited, so he could at least do the same for the kid when he came down.

Of course, Egbert also had a horrible habit of drowning the popcorn in enough butter to kill an adult, which didn't fly too well with the blond. It was greasy as shit, and felt gross on fingers, but it did help the flavour. His mouth twitched, showing his minor irritation as he slapped the DVD player closed.

The apartment was a bit warm, but it usually was during the summer. Dave and John sat a distance apart, because of the heat and because they were bros, not star crossed lovers. Dave considered breaking into a metaphor over it, but decided not to for the irony it could produce.

Beside him, Egbert gushed about how excited he was to see a movie at Dave's, talking about how he had only seen Jack Frost once in his life and he only remembered awesome snowman CGI from it. And Michael Keaton.

It was ironic of course to watch a Christmas movie in the middle of July, which is why Dave had picked it. The song at the beginning was pretty awful, but John was already talking about how he wanted it as his ringtone. The snow fights seemed pretty awesome at least.

John let out a huge aww when Jack Frost gave his son a harmonica, though Dave was more wondering what kind of bullshit the man was spouting. Would he still hear the harmonica if he was deaf? Fucking stupid lies, this dialogue was bullshit. How could Egbert even watch this unironically?

His fingers felt slimey and gross as he grabbed another handful of popcorn, watching the man drive through the fakest storm in cinematic history. John was leaning forward, watching intently, as Dave slid back into the couch. This movie was shit.

There was a music cue, and then suddenly random shots of the kid. Dave paused, midway through wiping a hand on the couch to try and dispel some shitty popcorn feeling.

"The fuck just happened."

He looked over to Egbert, who seemed completely engrossed. "Egbert, the fuck just happened in this movie. Did they go through a worm hole or some shit."

John rubbed at his eyes under his glasses getting to his feet as the screen flashed a One Year Later notice. "Dave, I'm just gonna piss. Keep the movie rolling."

"Fuck John at least tell me what happened. You aren't taking a piss until you tell me what just happened in this film."

Egbert was already the door when he called back, "He died."

Well, that made everything fucking stupid. His mouth twitched again, as he continued to watch the movie. It seemed that when he hadn't been paying attention, all the kid had done was walk places to music. And some bullies were being uncool assholes. Whatever.

When the kid began walking in the middle of the road, Dave began wondering how long it really took to take a piss. And when there was a douchebag in a truck on screen, something just clicked in Dave's mind.

The kid's dad was dead.

John had left the room.

_Shit_.

What the fuck had he been thinking, showing this movie. He should have read the back. Or done anything remotely resembling intelligence. Fuck, this was not what cool kids did. Not even ironically.

He left the movie running, jumping the back of the couch and heading to the bathroom. The door was closed, and he gave a brief knock.

"John, please tell me you're taking a shit."

The door swung open and no one was inside. Dave used every swear word he knew as he checked the apartment, listening to the shittiest choice he had made recently talk in the background.

The search revealed nothing, so he grabbed a house key and ran out the door. He slammed it behind it, locked it, and then looked around the hall. Egbert didn't usually pull shit like this, and it was going to take a bit of work to figure out where he had gone.

Except not at all because the door to the staircase was wide fucking open. Dave really had warned him about the stairs, saying they did lead to the roof but it was fucking hot up there. So of course, in the middle of a fucking warm day, he had to climb the stairs and find his best friend.

The door at the top of the stairs was also open, and the figure sitting with his legs off the edge of the building was obviously John. Kid had no fear of heights, at least. Dave wandered over.

John's eyes were closed tightly, and Dave knew the face he was making. The one you always made when you tried to block images in your head. He knew it too well. With a somewhat awkward pause, Dave stood beside John for a moment. When he wasn't noticed, he sat down.

It was a long way down to the street, but Dave was used to the height. The edge of the roof was hot and it was sticky out, and it probably would have been bright except for his shades. He looked over Egbert again.

"Hey."

No response.

"Egbert. John. Shit, are you listening."

He grabbed Egbert's shoulder, twisting him a bit to the side. John's eyes were wide as they seemed to take in for the first time Dave was up here. There were streaks of tears down his cheeks, and John's blue eyes were bloodshot and probably getting puffy. Dave was no fucking expert on emotion but it was pretty obvious what John was going through.

"Sorry," John said, wiping at his face. "I just need-"

"Don't fucking bullshit me Egbert. And don't fucking apologize, this shit was my fault."

John let out a ragged sigh, taking off his glasses and folding them on his shirt. Both of them sat in silence, which became increasingly awkward the longer it went on. Dave was shit with this kind of stuff. He had no idea what to say or where to start.

Luckily Egbert was always talkative, even when he didn't want to be. "I'm just not good with stuff like that. I... I always just think of Dad. I mean I know he's back now but I can't help thinking about it."

Dave watched as Egbert rested his forehead on his palms, slouching forwards. "And I mean, other stuff gets to me too. Seeing kids in the neighbourhood. When Dad's late coming home. When I hear about car accidents. And I..."

John's voice trailed off. Dave looked down, feeling the concrete grit on his hands as the heat rose from the roof. "Yeah, I kind of get it. When Bro goes out...just...yeah."

There was another silence, and Dave began to shuffle on his seat. It was fucking warm and he wasn't sure if he was doing any good up there.

"I guess this is kind of awkward for you, huh?" John said with a small smile. "It's okay, I'll get over it. You didn't have to come up here. Thanks."

Dave nodded, not really sure how he was supposed to respond to that. Instead they sat in silence again, listening to the traffic and buzzing lines. He felt as if there was something he should say, but fuck it if he knew what. He just did not know what to do.

He was saved from further contemplation or feeling discussion when John rose to his feet, slid his glasses back on, and stretched his arms back. Dave shuffled after him, shoving his shades on his nose. They faced each other for a moment, and Dave gave him a nod.

Shit, that wasn't cool. Nodding? Really? He shifted his weight, giving John a small punch on the shoulder. Surely that would help. Fucking worth years of therapy if the movies Egbert made him watch were right. In return, John gave him a quick hug, which Dave stood and took it like a man. He wasn't usually into guys hugging him, but he could cut Egbert some slack. Dave had kind of caused the whole situation.

It didn't last long, which was also good because it was getting really fucking hot on the rooftop. The two made their way back downstairs, John jumping down flights while Dave just walked down slowly. Cool kids didn't jump down stairs.

"We're not finishing that pile of ass," Dave announced, unlocking the apartment room. "We'll just do something else. I could lay down beats so sick and infectious they'd make you vomit and convulse. Have to rush you off to ER for recovery."

"I brought Con Air."

Dave let out a small sigh, looking over his shoulder as he opened the door. John's face still looked puffy and red. The blond felt a pang of guilt. Fuck.

"Yeah, we can watch Con Air."

John walked past, a small smile tugging at his mouth. But he wasn't excited. John wasn't excited for one of his favourite films. Dave watched him behind his shades, cursing in his head.

Why the fuck had he picked Jack Frost.


	3. Two Worlds

"I am so super excited to get to watch a movie with you, John!"

Jade grinned widely as John settled down into their fort of pillows. They were celebrating her acceptance to the school where Rose was going, which was of course super close to where Dave was going to university too. She was so excited to be able to be close to her friends that she had arranged for a get together in celebration!

John had agreed to host it, but Rose and Dave wouldn't be down until the next day. Which of course left time for a movie that night. She had taken every pillow in the house and put it in a pile in John's room, as he set up the DVD player. Nothing better to do with your brother than watch kids movies! Especially when you were celebrating being an adult!

Plus, it was about animals, and Jade did have a fondness for them. Especially the way Disney could capture emotion on something that wasn't even human! If she didn't want to be a vet, animation would totally interest her.

"It's too bad you're the year behind us, John. It's gonna be so different next year with the three of us all close and you still in high school!" Jade continued, as the menu popped up. "Gosh, why are you so little!"

"Hey, it's not my fault!" John replied. "I didn't control the meteor!"

Jade giggled. "C'mon, hit play! I haven't seen Tarzan since I was a kid!"

Everything was going perfectly until about three minutes in when the baby gorilla died. Jade started sobbing into the pillow she clutched between her hands. It was just a kid! How could anything do something so cruel to something so small? Why did Disney do this to her!

"Uh, Jade?"

"I forgot how sad this is!" she replied, sniffing. She waved a hand dismissively. "I'm sorry, don't mind if I cry. I get really into movies."

John had almost a grim smile on his face, and it tightened when Kala found Tarzan's dead human parents. "I know what you mean."

"John, let's make a deal."

His blue eyes looked at her curiously. "A deal?"

"Let's just watch this like kids, okay? You don't have to be all manly. I'm your big sis after all! So if you're sad, you can cry, and if I'm sad, I'll cry! Okay?"

It was like she had just lifted a giant weight off his shoulders. He nodded.

The very moment Kerchak said that Tarzan wasn't his son, John held her hand tightly. Jade didn't mind. She knew things like that got to John, just like how she couldn't sit through Old Yeller without deciding she hated everything. Sure, John didn't talk about it, but it was kind of obvious. She leaned on his shoulder, as You'll be in my Heart started playing.

"Wanna sing along?"

"Always."

She just loved this movie. It had been so long, but nothing had changed. It was still so adorable, so wonderful, it made her almost wish she had had a normal family growing up. But then, she loved the one she had now!

Tarzan's attempts to fit in pulled at her heartstrings. It was just such an endearing story. She noticed too how completely captivated John was. Good. It was about time he enjoyed a movie without having to worry about crying.

Of course they were both at the edge of their seats when Tarzan fought Sabor, and John clung to her arm when he presented the dead cat to his father. She wrapped an arm around his shoulder, eyes glued to the screen.

They continued in their awkward hug for most of the movie, quietly singing along to the musical interludes and laughing appropriately.

When Tarzan took Jane and her family back to meet his mother, John spoke.

"Jade?"

"Yeah?"

"It...it means a lot that you're here with me. I'm...I kinda..."

Jade smiled, pulling him close. "It's your Dad. I know. "

The look of horror on Tarzan's face when he betrayed Kerchak was reflected on John's own. "I feel like I really messed up with him. I let him die. Sometimes I think he hates me, Jade."

She smoothed his hair, glancing between him and the film. He let out a sigh. They watched in silence for a few minutes.

"It means a lot you'll listen, Jade. Thanks."

"Silly, you've always been there for us. I know your Dad loves you very much! Of course you can talk to me about this. It hurts, doesn't it? Thinking you're the one who hurt someone you love that much?"

"Yeah."

"But that's why we stick together, John! You're our friend too."

He closed his eyes, nodding. The movie continued.

Everything was pretty peaceful, until, of course, the moment when Kerchak was shot. John gripped her hand tightly, tears threatening to spill over as Clayton and Tarzan battled in the vines.

Both paradox siblings sobbed when Kerchak asked for forgiveness. And didn't stop crying for the rest of the movie. Jade felt a part of her own heart break, for Tarzan and for John. Damn, this was a good movie.

The credits began to roll, and John curled up against her. She patted his head again, wiping her eyes with the other. The pillows had shifted completely and it wasn't very comfortable anymore. There was a box of Kleenex beside John's bed, and she slowly shifted out to grab it.

A minute of nose blowing and face wiping later, the two made eye contact again. Jade smiled brightly, and John returned it. They both looked like complete messes.

"Wanna watch it again tomorrow with Dave and Rose?" Jade asked.

John looked horrified for a moment, but then he cracked a smile. "Only if we sing off key."


	4. Heart of Atlantis

**AN: **Sorry for the delay with this chapter!

Jade knocked on the dorm room door a few times, and then rocked back on her heels. Dave was humming to himself, and Rose was holding her purse lightly. It had been almost a week since any of them had heard from John, and it was getting pretty worrying. Sure, it was cram time, and it was John's first exam period, but they still should have had _some_ contact.

There was no noise from the other side of the door. Jade was hoping that he simply had earphones in, and couldn't hear them.

"He might not be in," Rose remarked.

Dave shrugged past Jade, grabbing the doorknob. It turned.

"If he is, he forgot to lock the damn door," Dave muttered. He shoved his way in, with the two girls following closely.

John was sitting at his computer, blue eyes fixed on editing a video from the looks of it. He seemed a bit pale, and thin. He had bags under his eyes. Jade bit her lip. She was a bit more worried now than she had been standing outside the door.

He did indeed have earphones in, and she wandered across the room as Rose removed her shoes and Dave examined a poster. She yanked them from his ears, and he gave a yelp.

"Jade?" His eyes skimmed over her shoulder. "What are you guys even doing here?"

"Where have you been!" she demanded, leaning over him. "I've been worried sick! You haven't been online, and you haven't checked your phone!"

He smiled sheepishly. "I-"

"No! I don't want to hear it!" she said angrily, pouting. "We came here to make sure you weren't dead!"

"I think what Jade means is, what have you been doing for the past week?" Rose's calm voice filtered forward, as she stood a foot back from Jade. The black haired girl nodded, putting her hands on her hips.

John's eyes flicked between the computer and the two girls. "I've been working."

"Solid?" Jade demanded.

"Basically. It's a huge project."

Jade followed his gaze to the laptop screen. It _did_ look awfully confusing, with a ton of layers and effects and settings. But no, she would not be swayed!

"You owe us about a week's worth of hangouts and talking!" she huffed.

"Chill, Jade. Egbert didn't mean to make us worry."

Dave was perched on the side of the bed, picking absentmindedly at a loose thread on the sheet. John looked relieved. Jade didn't want to give in so easily, but she supposed she didn't have much of a choice.

"Here, we can throw on a movie and hang in here now, okay Jade?" John gave a small smile, and shifted in his seat. He poked around on the program for a moment, and Jade felt Rose grab her arm and pull her over to the bed.

"Something's wrong," Rose murmured, glancing over her shoulder at John. "He looks ill."

"He's probably just been busy," Dave replied, but kept his voice down as well. Jade bit her lip. She wasn't feeling any better seeing him than she had in his week of silence.

But when he turned around again, he was grinning. It was a small comfort.

"What do you wanna watch?"

"Atlantis."

All heads turned to Rose. She smoothed her jeans, and then looked up, puzzled. "What? I believe it to be an appropriate choice."

"Egbert's got like, a hundred movies, and you pick Disney shit?" Dave scowled, leaning against the wall. "Fuck."

"Oh hush!" Jade said, lightly smacking him. "I like it!"

"Are you...sure, Rose?" John was staring at the blonde girl, but she nodded. He quickly pulled up the movie, and flicked the lights off. He settled in between Rose and Jade, although the bed was a bit crowded.

Jade leaned her head on his shoulder. It was a bit bonier than she remembered. The frown returned. He probably wasn't eating right. Maybe it really just _was_ school stress.

She always had a special place in her heart for Milo Thatch. She had always related as a kid. Adventurous, dead grandfather, missing parents, giant glasses...they were practically the same person! She would occasionally grip her brother's arm, but for the most part she was really enjoying the film.

Dave would make sarcastic remarks whenever something odd happened, and Rose of course had a few psychoanalytical notes to make, but that was just how they watched movies. It was so nice to finally have everyone together.

Jade knew it might not have been a perfect choice as a film. John stiffened when they said the line ' Our lives are remembered by the gifts we leave our children'. She knew John might have a hard time when Kida's father came on screen. But surprisingly, he lost it much earlier.

When the cars crashed to the ground as the bridge broke, he curled up into a ball, placed his forehead on his knees, and shook.

"John?" she kept her voice down, though Rose had noticed as well. The blonde girl lay a hand on his head, while Jade leaned in close.

"John, are you alright?" Rose asked. He shook his head.

Dave sat forward, slamming the pause on the laptop and flicking on the lights. John didn't seem to be crying, but he was obviously upset. Jade wrapped her arms around his chest as best she could.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Jade asked, and he shook his head again. She wanted to know what was wrong.

Rose and Dave, however, were not quite as willing to wait. Jade saw them share a look, and then Dave hauled John's arms apart. The black haired boy looked up, blue eyes wide with shock and fear.

"What's wrong," Dave stated, crossing his arms. Rose smoothed his hair a bit, but was watching intently as well.

"I'm-"

"If you say you're fine, Egbert, I will punch you."

He sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."

"You no longer have a choice," Rose stated firmly. Jade hesitated.

John looked at each of them in turn, and then the door. Jade held on even more tightly than before. If he was going to try and escape, she was going to make it super difficult.

"Let's just watch the movie," John said stubbornly. "I'm just over thinking everything."

"John, there is obviously something troubling you," Rose continued, crossing her arms. "I might be in psychology, but I can't just guess the reason and be correct. I need something."

"Maybe we should just keep watching the movie!" Jade suggested.

She could feel the other pair of siblings stare at her, but she knew they weren't going to get anything out of her brother if they kept going like this. He always came around and admitted it himself, even if he didn't mean to.

As it was, Milo discovered Atlantis, and the beautiful scenes and images captured Jade's attention. She slowly let go of her brother, and could feel Dave shifting awkwardly on her other side. She grabbed the blonde's hand, glancing to her right. John was totally captivated by the movie. She wondered when he had last watched it.

Sadly, she had been right about John not liking anything with Kida's father. When he was talking to Milo for the final time, John looked like he wanted to rot away. She hadn't seen an expression like that on his face before.

"Dad was in a car crash a few days ago," John said suddenly. All heads spun to him. "He was coming up to visit and a car hit him. He wasn't badly hurt, but he's been in the hospital."

John took a deep, shuddering breath. Kida's father passed away on screen.

"I can't help but feel it's my fault."

"John, you did not hit your father with a car," Rose reminded him, grabbing onto one of his hands. Jade did the same. "I know you have some feelings of guilt attached to his death in game, but they should not transfer to every occasion like this."

John shook the two girls off, getting to his feet. "You don't get it! I don't want to keep thinking about it, I don't want to see him die every time I have to watch a movie! It's so hard to think I didn't kill him. That I didn't cause this. He was coming to see me-"

"_And you did not hit him with a car_," Rose's voice was cold, scathing, and seemed to cut John in half. He collapsed to his knees, and Jade was beside him in an instant. He was crying quietly.

Rose knelt down in front of him, and he wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry, John. Perhaps that was a bit harsh."

"S'okay," he mumbled. Jade held his hand, and Dave even shifted over to pat his head a few times. "It's just...a lot to handle. I'm sorry."

He didn't say anything, but Jade figured it was probably why he looked so sick. It would explain why he was so focused on his work. And why he had kept to himself.

"You don't have to keep it from us, John," Jade said quietly. "We understand."

He nodded into Rose's shirt. But he didn't move to watch the rest of the movie, and he didn't open his mouth again. Instead, they sat together in the small dorm room, not even noticing when the movie began to play for a second time.


	5. Brutality of Nature

After the last fiasco, Jade had demanded that thy check in with John ever week. Rose and Dave had agreed, of course, but not without a bit of protest. It might not have been the best way of keeping track of him, but nevertheless Rose had agreed to it.

As it was, she was tiding her room in preparation for his arrival. Certainly he wouldn't notice the effort, but it was the thought that counted. Rose shuffled some papers into a desk drawer, nodding at her handiwork.

Moments later, there was a knock at her door. Perfect. John was punctual, at least, even in the middle of a minor crisis. For a moment, her fingers lingered over the movie she had borrowed off Jade, before she crossed her apartment and opened the door.

"Hey!" John greeted, giving a small grin. "Hope I'm not late."

"Right on time, John," Rose noted, stepping to the side to allow the boy entrance. He removed his boots, and Rose hung up his winter coat in the hall closet. It was a bit worn, it seemed. He could use a new one.

"How is your father doing?" Rose questioned, returning. John had taken to looking at one of her wizard figurines that Mom had left there last time she had come by. Along with numerous bottles of vodka.

"Oh, Dad's doing alright," John said a bit too quickly. "So, there was something you wanted to show me?"

"Yes."

With a movement, she had crossed the hall, making her way to her bedroom where the movie was waiting. Footsteps followed her, and she would have wondered about the consequences of her actions, except she knew it was for the best. After all, nothing else had worked to cure John of his slightly neurotic obsession with his father's death in game.

They both entered, and John cracked a joke about the posters on her walls as Rose took the movie from its resting place. John noticed immediately.

"No."

"Oh come now, John, it's not polite to-"

"No!" John looked a bit frightened, taking a step back. "Rose, I know that movie. I've seen Alaska before. And I can't, I can't watch it again, okay?"

Rose sighed. She had thought something like this might happen. It wasn't going to be a simple feat to convince him to get on board with this.

"Follow me, John. There's something we need to talk about," she said quietly, resting a hand on his shoulder as she passed. Again, he followed, though more hesitantly than before.

When they arrived back in the living room, she placed herself on the couch, gesturing for him to follow. Again, he hesitated, and Rose raised an eyebrow. This problem seemed just as deep rooted as she feared. As John settled himself into a sitting position, she went over what she had to say in her head.

"Rose, please, just not now, alright?"

"No, John. I think you need to learn something," she began carefully. John opened her mouth to protest, but she raised a finger. "This has been going on for long enough for us to all be worried, and I am certain that includes your father. This complex is affecting your judgment and your life. Perhaps even your future, judging by how late you were working on your film."

John shrunk a bit into the couch. Rose continued.

"I've been thinking about it, and I'm hoping that forcing you to watch this movie is going to help you realize that your father _is not_ within a movie, nor is he going to die simply because someone on screen does. I don't mean to make you forget about the incident, I merely want to relieve you of your guilt."

Carefully, Rose examined his face. John seemed a bit conflicted, scrunching up his face. Rose put a hand over his, and he gave her a tired look.

"I don't wanna feel like this, Rose," he whispered.

"Hence the scenario I have described, John. Sit tight. We will partake in this particular horrid piece of cinematic droll."

Finally, a laugh. Rose gave a small smirk as she set up the film, sitting back down beside the boy as it began.

Rose had to admit, when she had petitioned Jade for a movie about an injured father, she had expected something that was a bit better than this particular film. But on short notice, it would have to do.

As it was, the film seemed to be about a family who had moved to the most northern state. The girl seemed cliché and the son seemed just as moronic. If this film didn't have the perfect set up for what John needed, she would never have been stuck watching it.

It took until the son was arguing with his father for John to speak up again.

"Why are you showing me this, Rose?"

"I thought I outlined that for you."

"No, I mean... I dunno. Why didn't you just come talk to me?"

She gave him a sidelong glance as the idiot child in the film stormed into his room. "Because you like movies, John. You like watching them, and there is a lot contained within them that will be helpful to you for getting over this problem of yours. It's just an appropriate medium."

But she was shushed into silence as the father flew through the storm. John's eyes widened. He gripped the couch arm, and Rose gripped his other hand.

"It's a movie, John."

Nothing.

"John, it's just a movie."

And then the plane crashed.

John stiffened completely, but Rose was quick to react. She shifted closer, wrapping an arm around him. It seemed like the best time for some tough love.

"Look-"

"I can't, Rose," his voice was breathless, and he was shaking a bit. "Please, let's just stop."

"No. If you've seen this movie, you know that not only does the father live, but everything works out for the family. Something horrible happened, and they fix it." She patted his shoulder gently. "It's alright, John."

"No, it's not alright! Watch the movie, Rose!"

For a moment, she did. A rescue crew was so inept they could not see a barely hidden, neon yellow plane sitting on a rock outcropping when they were looking for it. Pathetic, really.

"Yes. It seems that their father is trapped."

"And it makes me think of my own dad, Rose! That's the problem! I just, I don't know why I get so worked up! I just see him dying everywhere, and it hurts, and I feel..."

He gave a sigh.

"John, you're allowed to feel bad. But this isn't your father. I am quite sure you told me that he was alright. This is almost too much John. We're worried. I'm sure even your father is worried. Please tell me you understand."

John watched the screen, blue eyes intense. Rose, instead of turning back to the movie, continued to watch him as the movie's children decided to traverse the tundra in search of their lost father. Her friend seemed to be struggling with himself, perhaps taking to heart what she was driving home, or fighting against it. Truly difficult to discern from those particular facial expressions.

But there was no more protest, so she eventually turned back to focus on the film. There seemed to be a ridiculous amount of dramatic shots, and a ridiculous choir to accompany them. And the baby polar bear never seemed to be quiet.

It seemed something _had_ changed, however. John was cracking jokes, and didn't seem too bothered the next time the father came on screen trapped in the plane. He didn't even seem to mind when Rose made scathing remarks about how boring the film was.

He flinched a bit near the end, when the two children were idiotically saving him by impossible rope climbing - really, who would wear running shoes to save their father in the wilderness? - but didn't cry. Or flinch.

"John?" she inquired, leaning forward a bit.

For a moment, there was no reply, but then he spun and hugged her tightly.

"I'm glad," she said quietly, returning the hug. "Small steps, John."

"I know. I guess...it's just time. It's hard, but, I think you're really right, and I think... with you guys, I can do this. Thanks, Rose."

And then he shuffled back on his seat, beginning to talk about how the movie was pretty good, and that, like, he wanted his _own_ Alaskan adventure. Rose gave a small smirk, and engaged him in this benign talk. Perhaps there was something she had done for him that day, and she could only be pleased about that.


	6. I'm Still Here

The summons had come. He had received them. Dave grumbled a bit, scratching his head as he jammed his finger against the third floor button on the elevator. Sure, it was winter break, but he had been hoping to head home and chill with his Bro soon. Maybe try and get rid of some of those damn puppets.

But Jade had insisted they have one last night together, so who was he to argue. Bring some class to this get together. Lay down some beats so fly, they'd bust their way out the window into space before they came back to assault his buddy's ears. Yeah, it was going to be amazing.

Sadly, though, it meant going to Rose's place. Damn flighty broad and her wily, psycho analytical ways. But he was too cool to refuse it. Besides, they had to make sure John was holding out fine. Seems Rose had some breakthrough with him the week before, and it was some well to do occasion. Whatever, so long as the kid stopped hating on himself so hard.

The elevator was beyond completely slow, and he stepped out after another eternity. He was sure he'd grown old, be completely unrecognizable by the time he reached Rose's apartment. Dave shuffled his way down, knocking when he finally reached the door.

A scramble of giggles and shouts followed, and a large thud. The door creaked open, and he glanced through his shades. Rose had calmly opened the door, while Jade had pinned down John on the floor, jabbing him with her fingers. Yeah, this was the right place.

"So glad you decided to arrive," Rose nodded, stepping to aside. "Your insistence on being late is quite an odd one."

"Gonna leave you wanting my presence," Dave replied, making his way inside. He slung his jacket over John's old one, kicking off his shoes.

The two siblings were still sprawled on the ground, though John was shifting a bit to get back on his feet. Dave gave him a nod.

"Sup."

"Hey Dave! We've got so much food, this is going to be the best party _ever_," John replied, grinning from ear to ear. He seemed pretty excited.

"Of course, a Strider's in the house. Going to make this the greatest occasion ever."

It was fun, though Dave would never admit he was enjoying the occasion unironically. Rose indeed had made a metric ton of food. Probably trying to fatten them up before stuffing them in her oven, like some kind of fable. He wouldn't put it past her.

They didn't really do much productive. Dave played them some of the tunes he had been composing lately, and Jade told a few riveting tales of mishaps through her final exams and practicals. Rose offered to psychoanalyze John's laughter at a particular story, but they ganged up and shut her down.

A few hours passed, and they were sprawled out across the floor. Dave was resting his head in Jade's lap as John and Rose skittered around the kitchen, finishing up some dishes. Cool kids didn't do housework, especially when they visited their annoying sister.

Shortly, John came and sat down beside the two.

"Guys up for a film?" John asked, grinning. "Because if you're not, we are watching this cinematic masterpiece anyway."

"Always!" Jade replied, running a hand through Dave's hair. The blond grunted a non committal reply. He could sit through some kind of movie.

"Great, I brought Treasure Planet and-"

Dave groaned. _Disney_. There were only so many he could sit through. John was giving him a put off look.

"Dave, c'mon!"

"John, I understand this is your childhood, but there is just too much singing in these. Like, all these guys have some shit to do but it's like nope, gotta do this shit in song. Get me a full orchestra to do my laundry to."

"They don't sing in Treasure Planet Dave!" Jade chided, flicking his forehead. He didn't react, reacting wasn't cool. He'd keep a mellow exterior. John didn't even wait for a further argument before he was setting up the DVD.

He did seem to be happier than usual. The kid had even started talking about his Dad earlier - willingly. It was an improvement, yeah. Maybe he shouldn't be so hard on Rose.

But that would throw off their whole dynamic.

Speaking of, there she was, standing in the doorframe of the kitchen like some sort of demon. Smirking.

"Well, shall we begin this new ritual we have developed of indulging ourselves with childhood movies?" Rose questioned, placing herself on the couch. Jade shifted a bit, but not enough for Dave to have to move as well. John jumped the two of them on his way back from the TV.

"Yes!" John agreed, slamming the play button down. Sure, time for some more Disney, why not.

It wasn't the worst film. Main kid had issues, though. Scenery was nice. Fucking hardcore space adventure, with weird ass aliens. Some kind of freaky space culture, with humanoid main characters. Ding ding, call up Katy Perry, get her to make out with some of these creatures.

But the plot seemed solid enough. Get some treasure, use a crazy map, no big. 'Sides, it was good to see John enjoy a movie, even arguing with Rose whenever she'd point out something ridiculous.

Huh, there _was_ singing in this. John had lied. Some crazy song about independence that was kind of mello and lame for Dave's taste. Might be good for some ironic mixes, though.

And the montage seemed to be about the fact main character's dad was a total douche. No big deal. Dave glanced over to John.

But he didn't seem upset. If anything, he seemed a lot more comfortable than Dave had seen in a while. The boy caught his eye, or as much as he could with Dave's face being hidden behind shades.

He gave a grin, and Dave nodded, earning a small smack from Jade. So John really was over the whole Dad issue. Good.

After a few more minutes, Jade had shifted again, and Dave sat up from his resting place. Girl needs some room, after all. That was chill. It was all good. He gave her a quick glance, following her eyes to John. Seemed like they were all pretty curious about his state.

John gave each of them a quick glance, and then game another smile. "It's okay. I picked this on purpose. I just wanted to say...thanks, guys. It means a lot that you stuck with me."

Jade made some weird squeak, jumping up and giving him a hug. Rose patted his knee, shooting Dave a look. Cool kids didn't get in on stuff like that, but he gave a small smile in response. That was all else that kid needed, anyway. A good push. Less shit going on in his life. John didn't need any more crap than he had dealt with.

They went back to watching the movie. It had been a good choice after all. There was father shit, sure, but it had a good ending. And that was what John got, too. Dave nodded along with the movie for the remainder of the time, keeping his jibes in his own head for the sake of his friend.


	7. The One True King

John puttered around the kitchen, grabbing a bowl as the microwave beeped its completion. School was over for the year, and he was so tired of working that when his dad had suggested a movie night, he had been totally on board. Especially since there was one movie he needed to watch with the man.

Carefully avoiding the steam, John poured the popcorn into the bowl. It looked awesome, and there was no way he was ever going to hate the stuff. He zapped the butter in the microwave as well, practically drowning the food in it. Perfection.

By the time he exited the kitchen, his dad was already seated on the couch, awaiting the movie. He offered a nod to his son, and John dropped the popcorn on the table before heading over to the movie shelf. It was pretty much overflowing at that point, and he still had some films up in his room. But Dad was okay with it.

It took a minute, however, to find what he wanted. There were so many awesome films on the way, he almost considered watching something else. But that day was special, and dare he say it, too special for Nicolas Cage. Maybe tomorrow they'd watch National Treasure.

But there were more important matters at the moment. He pulled out the DVD, giving a small smile. Lions looked back up at him.

It was time to watch _The__Lion__King_.

As the disc loaded, John settled himself down beside his father. The ads played, and it wasn't long before the older man's eye brow began to ascend.

"John, are you sure?"

The boy turned. His dad was looking a bit older - his hair was getting greyer, and John was doing a bit more of the work around the house now. But he was still his father. And he was right there, right then, not dead.

John had wasted so much time worrying about losing his father that he had forgotten how to just enjoy time with him.

"Of course! It's been forever since we watched it and it's a great movie!" he chirped, pulling the remote and popcorn bowl back towards him.

And the movie started, just like it had years ago. The birth of Simba, the arguments of the brothers, the musical interludes. Both were enwrapped within the movie, crunching quietly on their snack as scene by scene passed.

There. The wildebeast scene.

The flashbacks came on full force. The blood. The red. The seeping and gushing and it clung to every part of his father's shirt, every different pore of his skin was leeching or filled with blood.

His father wrapped an arm around him, and John leaned in. Breath in and out. His father had died. But he was alive now. He was right there.

It hurt less than it had, when Mufasa died. Tears still threatened to spill, but John repeated over and over to himself. It wasn't his father. His father was alive. Right then, right there, watching an amazing movie with him.

Another tight squeeze from his father and the scene had changed. Simba ran and ran, eventually getting through the desert and meeting up with, of course, the comic relief. Slowly but surely, John sat up again, becoming more engrossed in the film then in his father's health.

Besides, the movie had such great scenes. Blood threatened the corners of his mind as Mufasa, as a ghost, greeted his son again, but John stuffed the thought down. This scene wasn't meant for mourning. It was about moving on.

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

He met his father's gaze. He offered another smile. "You're here."

"Yes."

"I'm glad."

Because he _was_. Even if they didn't always get along, there were days like this when they could sit, watch a movie, and it wouldn't even both him. Sure, the thoughts were there...but it wasn't that bad. His father came back.

Simba took his place in the great circle of life, but neither of the Egberts moved as the credits played through. Because it was nice to spend time with his dad without really worrying.

His thoughts trailed back to the last time he had seen it. Over whether or not Simba ever regretted what happened. But, maybe he had friends like John did. And, even if his dad was really gone, there was a part of him that wasn't.

And, maybe, it wasn't John's fault after all.


End file.
